Despair and dejection

Deepak M Ranade

Despair and dejection are among the most common negative emotions that we come to face in our daily lives. These emotions rise as a result of our own judgmental approach. We all have an inbuilt judicial system that conducts its own trials. The act of prosecution begins as soon as something unfavourable happens or when our ego gets hurt. Usually, we tend to pass one of the following four verdicts:
1) I am okay, you are not okay; 2) I am not okay, you are okay; 3) I am not okay and you are not okay; and 4) I am okay and you are okay, too.

The ‘you’ in this verdict could be a person, a situation, an event, the planetary position, practically just anything outside of the self. The people whose internal jury delivers the first verdict are typically egoistic, not introspective, rigid, and also are slow learners. They are very confident but largely self-indulgent and not easily amenable to suggestions. They may also be control freaks and are invariably complaining about most issues and people. They can be intimidating at times and haughty. They are quite creative and innovative and they remain in a positive state of mind even after an occasional setback.

The individuals whose internal jury delivers the second verdict are the ones who are low on self-confidence. They will introspect for hours, and are often more inclined towards persecution mania. They will learn from their mistakes as they have the sincere desire to learn. However, they are very prone to having bouts of despair and depression and take much longer to recover from a setback.

The third category is the pessimists, whose criticism can be annoying to those who are at the receiving end. They just do not seem to find anything right. They could be the nagging sort and, often are non-creative. They are the least likely to venture out of their comfort zones for any reason and prefer the confines of security afforded by their reluctant, selfimposed contentment.

The last category of people is the ‘Edison’ category. They will never reprimand either themselves or anyone else for their failures. They have an indomitable spirit and are adventurous. They seem to have an inexhaustible appetite for life; they’re usually creative. They are incredibly positive and perseverant. However, they can become very egoistic when successful because, innately, they have an inflated opinion of themselves.

The most advanced and philosophical are those who rise above the fourth category. They are the enlightened ones who never have an internal jury. The internal jury is replaced by an observer who merely observes without getting involved. They do not believe in having any ‘doership’. Doership is not the inability to do or act. Doership is the conviction of having the strength to effect the desired outcome of one’s action.

Actions are most often directed towards a prefixed objective; the most common being gratification of senses or ego. The last category comprises those who are less self-indulgent because they are more selfless. They set out doing what they have to but accept the outcome without any grudge or judgment.

Contentment is a state of realisation. Living life without passing a verdict either on people, circumstances or oneself is deliverance from unhappiness and despair.